


daylight feels like home

by Marshmellow (orphan_account)



Series: Fraternite de ABK [3]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-22
Updated: 2013-01-22
Packaged: 2017-11-26 10:28:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/649582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Marshmellow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follow up to A Funny Thing Happened. Alex hears something in the night that calls his attention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	daylight feels like home

**Author's Note:**

> Just saying that the titles will probably never make sense because I suck at titling! Okay, this is the sequel of sorts to A Funny Thing Happened. I'm sorry that it's short and rather messily written! It's probably the last thing I'll post until the next weekend, sorry guys!

Alex woke to the sound of vomiting at two in the morning, coming from the bathroom just down the hall from his and Combeferre’s room. In his hazy state, Alex assume it was Jacob before remembering that Jacob was rarely actually ill. He decided he should probably check it out; he wasn’t going to be able to sleep knowing one of his friends was in pain. So he stirred himself completely awake before hurrying down to the bathroom. He was surprised to see Johnny standing guard at the door.

“Who’s in there?” Alex asked. Johnny paled slightly and appeared to develop a sudden itch on his neck. 

“Oh...I don’t know...someone, I guess. I’m just waiting to pee. Might take a while. You should go back to bed.” Johnny said quickly. It was an awfully executed lie. Alex stared at him for a long moment.

There was a flush inside the bathroom, a rush of water from the sink, and the sound of someone spitting. Then a thump, as though someone had dropped heavily to sit on the floor. It was silent for a moment.

“Alex, really, you should just-”

“Alex?” A quiet voice said.

The person inside stirred. He sat against the door, head thumping against the wood with a loud thunk.

“Brett?”

Johnny tried to keep Alex from approaching the door, but he failed miserably. Alex jiggled the door knob, but it was locked. He knocked rapidly instead. 

“Brett let me in.”

“You’re going to be upset.” Grantaire coughed. 

“Why would I be upset?”

“I came back. You told me not to but I did.” He cried. Alex wondered if he was drunk.

“How much has he had to drink?” Alex turned to Johnny, who was fidgeting off to the side.

“Nothing since Tuesday.” Johnny said almost defensively. Alex wasn’t dumb; he know what that meant. 

“How long has he been here for?” Alex’s voice was steady and detached though he felt anything but.

“...since Wednesday.” Johnny’s voice was small.

“That’s three days.” 

“...yes.” 

Alex paused before knocking on the door again, this time more insistent and almost desperately.

“Brett, let me in. I want to help you.”

“No!” Grantaire was trying to physically hold himself together, but he was shaking so hard, and the pain wouldn’t stop, and he just wanted...he didn’t know what he wanted, really. He just wanted Alex to be proud of him and if Alex walked in right now, he’d be anything but proud. And he remembered just a day ago, had it been a day ago? Alex was so angry and Alex had...maybe he hadn’t but...had he imagined it? “You’re going to hurt me again.”

Johnny jumped up at that. “Brett, I told you, that didn’t happen...”

“He tried to-”  
“No he didn’t.” 

“What do you mean I’m going to hurt you _again_?” Alex sounded so defeated. Johnny wanted to help, but all he could do is frantically mess about with his hair as everything he’d promised to keep secret came undone. 

“Last night...he was in my room, remember, Johnny?” Grantaire was shaking so hard he thought his bones might break. He felt like his skull was collapsing. “He smothered me with that pillow.”

“No, Brett...” Johnny said softly, and he sounded so tired. Alex wished he hadn’t taken all of this on his own. He shouldn’t have had to. He should’ve come to Alex...why hadn’t he? “You did that yourself, remember? That wasn’t him.”

Brett had tried to smother himself. No, worse, he tried to smother himself but he thought it was _Alex_ trying to _kill_ him. It was too much. Alex cared for his friends too much, for _Brett_ too much, to play games right now. 

“Open this... _damn_ door right now or I will knock it down.” Alex hissed. 

“Johnny, make him go away!” Brett cried, his voice so scared that Alex even pulled away from the door for a second.

“He isn’t going to hurt you!” Johnny said, his voice sweet. Alex felt a rush of gratitude for him. “I promise. I wouldn’t let him. He wants to help you.”

After a long, long pause, the door slowly opened just enough to allow Alex to slip in. He nodded once at Johnny, who seemed almost tentative to leave Brett alone. Eventually, he shuffled off to bed, reassuring himself that everything would turn out alright now that he was sure Alex wouldn’t be mad. 

Grantaire was huddled in the bathtub when Alex closed the door. He was breathing heavily, clutching his knees to his chest and shaking so hard that Alex feared he might hurt himself on the hard plastic tub. 

“Brett...” Alex sat on the edge of the tub, shoving a few shampoo bottles to the side. “Why didn’t you tell me you were here?”

“You kicked me out.” Grantaire said simply, his pitiful voice trembling. “I’m not supposed to be here. I’m supposed to be...anywhere else, right? But I couldn’t drink, not after that. It made me sick. But not drinking made me sick too. What was I supposed to do? I had to come back but I didn’t want you to be upset with me...Johnny found me sleeping on the porch, thank God. I made him promise not to tell because I’d rather be dead in an alley with a knife in my back then have you be upset with me like that again. I knew you’d find out eventually, but I was hoping by then I’d be...” He paused, choking back another sob. “I’d be sober. It’s taking a while.” He laughed bitterly.

Alex looked at Grantaire for a long time. He’d been living in ABK for three days, going through a sort of pain that Alex could only imagine, and Alex hadn’t even known. How had he not known?

“I’m...” He found himself surprisingly speechless. He couldn’t reprimand Grantaire, yet he couldn’t soothe him either.

“I never wanted to disappoint you.” Grantaire insisted, clutching his arms to keep from reaching out for Alex. “I just wanted you to...to...accept me. But I was never acceptable.”

“You were.” Alex said. “You were acceptable, I just wanted _you_ to feel that way. And you would never realize your potential while constantly drunk.”

Grantaire nodded, tears continuing a steady path down his cheeks. “I know.” He cried, voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

“I’ve burdened you so much.” 

“You haven’t.”

“I should leave.” Grantaire said suddenly, making an attempt to get up and failing horribly.

“Brett, _stop_.” Alex firmly pressed down on his shoulders. Grantaire wanted to escape those eyes, but he couldn’t. He wanted to run again. It was easier when Alex wasn’t watching.

“I don’t want to be here.” He lied, but didn’t. He didn’t want to be there, but he didn’t want to be anywhere else. He felt trapped.

“Come to my room.” Alex said, surprising even himself.

Grantaire paused, staring curiously up at Alex. “Your room?”

“It might do you good to be...with company tonight. Johnny is a wonderful roommate I bet, but he deserves a break.”

Grantaire quirked a smile at that. “I would, you see, but I would rather not have back problems on top of...everything else.”

“Back problems?”

“From the floor.” Grantaire said. 

Alex almost laughed. “Why would you sleep on the floor? There’s room enough in my bed. Come with me, Brett. I’m not one to make such offers, but...you might benefit from my company.”

As Alex pulled him out of the bathtub and helped him down the hall, he burst into tears all over again. It might’ve taken Alex all night to calm him down again, and many apologies to Combeferre, but somehow it was better to have Grantaire an ugly sobbing mess on his bed than to have the house emptied of him completely.


End file.
